Weekend life

This weekend seemed to fly by!! I had this crazy great day on Friday where I was able to spend the whole day on a golf course with Chad just hanging out, being a terrible golfer mind you, but pretty good company if I do say so myself ;)   Then the evening came and I was able to meet some pretty awesome girls at Earls for this 90's flash back party. I cant even being to explain every detail about how great this night was but I will try to sum up our evening in just a few point forms, haha:

•  Kailey, Crystal, Lindsay and later after they skated our their aggressions at hockey, our men. Best company a girl could ask for. Good night no matter what now.

•  free candy on the tables!!? Now THIS is something I could really get into..screw a fancy appie and give me a free fun dip and tootsie pop!

•  Rocking overalls an a wife beater in public and feeling cool

• tons of people, all in good spirits and willing to buy above mentioned crew free drinks, (ok that's thanks to Crystal but I'll take a few drink no matter what!)

•  A big screen full of BSB, NKOTB, Salt n Pepper, N sync, snoop dog, Janet Jackson and every other epic dancey dance pop sensation you can imagine from my youth.

•  Honestly winning a "dance off" by almost quitting then pulling out the cheer leader in me splits...and I didn't even split my pants! Dropped it like it was HOT, to quote my ladies, lol!

• Winning a fanny pack ( that steve stole and I'm sure I will never see again, ha!)

It was a great affair! I am still pondering something however. Not sure if it was the best joke of the night, or the weirdest conversation I have ever had. Dancing with a bunch of late 20' somethings one pipes up and says how much he loves Backstreet boys...( he was also belting out every word to every song, my kind of guy) when he happened to lean in and say to me,  

"I lOVE BSB...unlike other boy bands they are great signers...I have all their stuff"

To Which I say, 

" ooh, me too! even on cassette! hahaha"

Then he says...wait for it...

" Awesome! Do you have their underground stuff? That's my favorite! Its so hardcore!"

Say Whaaaaa?? Are we talking like Brian, Nick, AJ, Howie and Kevin? Hardcore? Underground? I still have no clue if he was serious or if this was a joke? I don't want to Google " underground BSB" because I don't want my husband to see it on the computer and make fun of me, it will forever be a mystery I suppose ;)

The night ended somewhere on the other side of 2am and I went to bed a sweaty, happy, ear ringing mid 30's stay at home mom full of 17 year old dreams ;)

Yesterday was a great day full of family time and painting the office. I would elaborate more, but honestly it boils down to the kids playing games in the house all day and mom...well, literally painting the office...but ill post pictures of it later! Its looking great!

Fresh of my dance high...or more like my hangover, I decided that although I have kept up my running I need to go so fitness classes again, and get back on this health wagon. I am getting a bit old for 2am nights and  blurry Sundays. I  do actually love going to the gym and taking classes and I miss them. They are hard for me to fit in with all the kids during the summer.. WELL some friends of mine go at 5am. I think they are loony birds. That's still the middle of the night for me...BUT after much thought, chocolate and about 5lbs of weight gain I decided that I should suck it up and go too.

Oranj Fitness is this great place in town and I love all their classes, but I stick to mid day and evenings...so I was pretty nervous about a 5am-er. Now that its over I would just like to toot my own horn and say I got up at 4:30 and made it to a 5am spin and sculpt class and as I type this, on my 3rd cup of coffee, I feel good! The kids are still asleep, the sun is up and the house is peaceful and quiet...maybe I should get into this early morning thing and start a new routine??...until Earls has another epic dance party then all bets are off and I am drinking and Macarena-ing until the wee hours and sleeping until the kids cant find food :)

Swimming

My kids love the water, I guess that's not a surprising revelation since I think most kids love it. Sprinklers, lakes, puddles, bathtubs and of course, the dreaded pool.

That said, I have realized that I am "that" mom. Let me explain. I  was once sitting around a table having coffee with a bunch of "play date moms"  ( these are other moms who are friends that have materialized out of the need to socialize our kids, keep our sanity and get out of the house)  We were talking about mom things like healthy snacks, mom pants and lessons of sorts for our littles, (because they have to be in some kind of lessons from the moment of birth or your a neglectful parent...but that's another blog post)

Wow, I get sidetracked so easily...where was I??  Lessons!

A kid friendly early start lesson of course is swimming. I am all for it since:

 a) its good to know that you won't drown later in life hopefully
b) its pretty fun for kiddos, it doesn't even seem like learning or work
c) my parents never put me in swimming lessons and I have no cool badges like "seal" or "otter" in my memory box and it still annoys me ;)

I am super against it because:

a) if your kid is under 8 you have to be in the water with them
b) I hate swimming in public pools
c) I hate swimming in public pool. ;)

So like all moms you just have to suck it up and do stuff that's maybe not great fun for you. So Mia was in lessons as a baby, with me of course in my maternity swimsuit feeling super great about myself ( I was pregnant with Coy when Mia was a baby and in all these mom and me lessons. That last part about feeling super great was a big fat lie in case you missed that) However by luck or great planning on my part, Chad has been able to be in lessons with the other kids sine then and I didn't even feel bad about pawning off that duty because he loves the water, so I happily pawned it off ....until now.

The kids are 7,6,5,5,3 and its summer and they love to swim and we want to take them on the lake more, in the boat more and to things like the big water slide parks. So refer above to the  "..not drowning later in life hopefully" We still need to work on that a little.

Chad of course works all day and I am at home all day with the kids in the summer and the YMCA offers lessons in the daytime hours now and not just evenings and weekends, ( darn, prime time dad lesson time) So for the sake of good time management I am taking the kids to the lessons for a few weeks now.

 I was thinking that since they are not " mommy and me" age anymore I would get to sit in a nice plastic chair or wooden bench on the sidelines and lovingly observe them frolicking in the water. Um nope. I have them all in back to back lessons. Now can you try to keep all your other kids out of the pool to play for 30 to 45 min and wait for their sibling to finish a lesson? Not gonna happen in my world. If any of them are in the pool and not in a lesson, momma needs to be in the pool too. Crap.

Ok, well I put on that bikini, covered it up of course in a tank top/t shirt then jumped in. I like to linger on the walls, body in the water, back to the wall arms resting on the wall and watch the kids play. ( They can swim a little, I don't need to hold them or anything) SO for the first few days I got in the pool but got to just relax, mostly cheer and observe and it wasn't too bad.  I was feeling ok. Not great mind you since its TWO HOURS in the pool in the morning and then another hour in the evening to get them all in lessons, but I was feeling ok.

Then yesterday happened. The boys were fighting all morning and the pool didn't bring a cease fire. Yvette was in her lesson, and the boys were intense. They were kicking and splash fighting while I was caught in the cross fire, they were trying to drown each other, pulling and grasping mom for their lives of course. They were stealing goggles, doing cannonballs and being generally super playfully annoying. I was soaked.

Here is where I become that mom. I put on the suit, I put my hair in a bun and I go in the water. I am not doing cannonballs, or searching for rings or playing pool volleyball. I'm not playing what time is is Mister shark, or dumping buckets of water on them or me.  I'm just not. I'm making sure they don't die and planning the rest of the million things we have to do that day in my head...and I don't want to get wet. Bad problem to have when in a pool with 5 kids. I just want to be there for safety and not interaction, haha.  My mom friends would always complain about " that mom" who wouldn't be playing in the water, or who you could tell didn't want to wreck her hair or makeup ( I don't wear makeup in the pool, but I don't want my hair wet, I just don't, sue me.)

 SO I was pretty annoyed trying to hold it in yesterday when Reed came up after a monster canon ball jump gasping for air. He simultaneously spit water directly into my eye and flung a big wad a snot hitting me square in the cheek. I didn't speak a word but my eyes said it all...he swam far, far away and must of told the others since no one came near me for the last 5 min of the morning. I am the devil mom, I am no fun and if I scar them for life over this fact I think I can deal with that.

Then, you know what happened today? The kids were amazing. They played, they interacted with me in a fun but non soaking way. I helped them all onto the rope, pulling them far back and pushing them hard until they jumped off that pool rope like tiny Tarzan's of the pools. Yvette was jumping off the diving board unassisted and getting in and out of the water all alone. It was a total pleasure to watch them play....with eachother. They had a great time and you know what, I did too. Hmm. Was a pretty fun morning and I even debated jumping off that pool rope. I didnt, BUT I thought about it, briefly :)

First world problem?

Life like we say just keeps getting in the way! In the way of getting laundry done, grass cut and blogging! I decided that I really am going to make an effort more to really write,  get some words down on paper just because I love it so much and damn it, I have a lot to say, ha!

Mostly whats on my mind right now is more about life, and the craziness of it, yours, mine, everyones...but tonight the "craziness" of mine in particular. For once its not the kids, its the self inflicted craziness of my mind gone bizerk. I just came back from a week long stay in Vancouver to attend this "intensive" at the Vancouver film school. I took a week long jump into writing for film and tv and let me tell you, it was...amazing. It was just..amazing.  There are people out there who live these awesome lives, these awesome creative lives and sometimes they get paid for it!

For anyone that knows me at all,  I am not an educated gal, I'm not worldly, or savvy  or any such things related. I never really thought outside the box about most things. I think I was raised very simply and straight in the way that you live life and the things that you do in this life. I didn't attend any post secondary school and I just stumbled upon my old office job with an insurance brokerage, wrote a few provincial exams, got a licence and just went to work 9-5 until I got married, had a baby, and then another...and another...( ok 5 babies in 4 years) and well. That's my life in a nutshell. 

When I was at home with all my wee ones before I totally lost my mind altogether I had this thought, " what am I going to do in a few years when these kiddos get bigger? "  I felt like I needed to know what to do in the aftermath of the baby/toddler trauma. Something to look forward too, to aim for, to escape too and I just didn't know. I felt like a teenager in high school thinking about university without a clue as to what to take or why. I wouldn't normally say I am indecisive by any means, even the opposite. ( I'm a leap before I look kind of lady usually..has made for some interesting stories along the way ;)  however i just felt like I NEEDED to know what to do. I had no answerer's and kind of still don't but I feel like I am getting closer. 

My amazing, thoughtful, brilliant, loving, supportive husband has always told me that we are lucky enough to be in a position where I don't NEED to know what I want to do. If I want to work, work, if I don't, don't, work at Wall mart or start my own business for all he cares...Just do whatever I want, do it with a true desire and love. Aweee, see, he's pretty friggen awesome...well that is easier said than done. What do I love? Aside from the love/hate abuse circle I have with chocolate and running...what am I passionate about? What do I know how to do? Simpler, what am I even GOOD at? I have learned that I am good at...giving birth...not killing my own young...and...well....its a short list.  So I am 32 and feeling like I am having a crisis!! A self inflicted, internal, mostly unnecessary CRISIS! aaaaah! 

I know this will sound so arrogant and you may stop reading after this if you bothered to hold out long enough to read this far  ( and thank you if you did, haha) but...since I was really small, even though I had no talents, no money and nothing of notable worth I felt special or valuable. Or more like, I felt like I wanted something special, something big, something larger than life and that I was totally capable of getting it, whatever it was. I just don't know what it is. Then...life got in the way. Now let me preface all this " first world problem" nonsense with this: I know I am lucky to have my husband, my 5 children and my amazing life. I LOVE them. I love my family, my friends and I wouldn't want to change a thing of my journey so far. I know its more than so many have, and more than I deserve to be honest, I know this, I really do....BUT I feel like there is more. There just is and I have to figure it out.

Taking the trip to Vancouver was so worth it to me. It opened my eyes to so much. It made me realize so much that I didn't before. I feel like I am one step closer to finding out what is in store for the rest of this life. Chad promised me this, that he will stand by me no matter what. I promised him that I will always put our family first.  So what does that even mean? 

Well to me, and to him in means time. Time to figure things out. Time to let the kids be young still. Time to get our ducks in a row. In three years my sweet Yvette will be in school full time. In the next two years she will be in kindergarten, in one year the twins will be in grade 1 Coy in Grade 2 and Mia in Grade 4...so many changes in really just a few short years. So I have promised to direct my attention to perhaps more attainable and realistic goals ( aside from uprooting my family to a new province and city, forcing my husband to leave his remarkable job that provides us so much so I can chase a dream, a hope a desire and wish that for one year in school I can try to create this different life) 

 In two years, if there is still a lingering, still a desire, still...something, Chad will make a leap with me and will go. We will go and see. We might crash and burn or we might be making the first step to a life that is even more amazing that neither one of us can predict. I am a FIRM believer in passion. In living life the very best way you know how and to just trying. Ill try anything once ( ok except mussels...and clams...and shellfish of any kind, but that's besides the point...) at the end of the day I know I would feel worse about the never knowing. The always wondering what if would just, hang heavy on my spirit for so long.  Taking a year of life and turning it upside down, maybe just to not have that feeling would be worth it.  SO I guess I am writing because i feel so lost still and its nice to get it all out...sorry this wasn't a funny kid story or an annoying Chad one...oh but don't worry, those will be there a plenty in due time, especially if I turn him into a stay at home dad in Vancouver ;)

So I will write more, practice more, and keep on keeping on and who knows what will happen. I feel like great things will happen, so..stay tuned :)