GIRLS girls girls! Kit kat girls!

I got an email last night that made me feel AMAZING!  I was going to blog about it, then I logged on here, read my last post... ( bad idea, I try to never re-read them...ugh)  started to feel heavy...Then I got tired. Then I went to bed and slept on it, not writing a darn thing.

This morning I was thinking how sad and awful my last post was and kind of beating myself up for being so down and out...or thats how I felt when I was typing it, so reading it again made me feel the same. You know what, I don't like that feeling. I had it, I embraced it and now I am letting go!

Then I looked in the mirror at 6am ( ooh, also bad idea...a brutal reminder to not go to bed with wet hair again) Moving on, I took a deep breath, and said

"Aleaha. Get over yourself. GOD. It was a bad day, not a bad week, or month or year or life. Chill the frig out, go write! Who cares what spills forth!" The two people that I know read this certainly don't care, haha!

So heres to moving on, being who I am, honestly being pretty darn ok with that and carrying about my life the way I like to do, in an awesome stay at home mom look on the bright side living in my lulus's life glory!

So back to my email...

ooh, and briefly, a quick backstory...I happened to be at Earls for 90's night this summer, had a few shots, danced a little dance ,won a little dance off, got myself a fanny pack and then the funny notion that was an ok dancer and should take on the world one backstreet boy song at a time...


SO...(gosh I get so distracted)...I got an email from Keyano College....( In case I forgot to blog about this, I tried out for a play at Keyano. Then guess what, I made it. Pffft what?!  RIGHT?! They cast me as a Kit Kat girl in the play Cabaret!!  It is going to be amazing I am sure!)
Keyano sent me a "hello" email and then a list of rehearsal times and then a list of the full cast!  We start Dec 2, 2014 and the play will run in February! Come one Come all it will be awesome!

Its a lot of time to be gone from home, but...once in a lifetime? Wed-Fri nights from 6-10pm and then all day saturdays for I believe 10 weeks....oy. BUT its only 10 weeks right?? ( Sorry Chad, please still love me after this is over)

Then after reading about all the fun and countless hours I will be spending with these new friends I thought I would do what any normal person would do....I face stalked them all! Muwahahah! I want to see faces! I want to  virtually stalk these soon to be bff's so that I can know  all about them before we meet! ( Then of course I have to remember to act like I know nothing about them so I'm not that creepy weirdo who face stalks people, ugh who DOES that..)

So I got to stalking. It was going well, very well! Recognized some people from past plays at the college, some from auditions, some from extra foods check out lines, haha...small town, small community theatre group ;)

THEN I get to the names of other 3 kit kat girl parts!  3 other amazing ladies I would be spending hours with every week dancing our pants off...literally.

do de doo...stalking stalking...when BAM. I slowly begin to realize that these other ladies are TOTALLY AMAZING. They are:

1) Young
2) FIT
3) Beautiful
4) some would say genetically blessed
5) young.
6) Dancers, real dancers.

A moment of self doubt. A rumbling in the pit of my stomach. A small glance down the "perfectly imperfect" body that birthed 5 babies....

SO, yeah, I DO NOT resemble the other dancers in MANY ways...haha!.... My hope is that they were going for diversity? Maybe they needed a mother hen in the group? Maybe they asked me accidently?! oh god how awful. Maybe they didn't really notice what was going on under my tank top that dance day we all auditioned? Then I remembered we had to remove said tank tops and dance in our sports bras so they must have seen something?! I'm hard to miss, my skin gleams white like a teenage vampire ;)

So there was another moment of brief hesitation. Then, I am surprised to say that I actually started to feel great. I really truly honestly didn't mind that these young ladies are well, quite perfect. I kind of don't really care how different I look than the other girls. I feel like, I must have something to offer,  (even if its just the fact that I was picked by default because the other teenage parents would allow their kids in a 18+  play? ) Whatever the reason is I  want to be there so BAD.

I want to dance for hours every night.
I want to be exhausted from the process
I want to meet and get to know creative minds
I want to have this experience.

Maybe thats it? Maybe they smelled my desperation, haha!  So now as I sit here I think how LUCKY I am that THEY, those  director/producer types thought that I was good enough to be with the other ladies. They picked me for a reason and I don't care what that reason is. I am going to get up, show up and RIP IT UP!

So that all said...Does anyone want to babysit for me Friday nights starting in December so Chad can still go to Hockey whilst I dance with teenage dreams? I want to dance but I still want my husband to love me at the end of it and lets not kid ourselves, we all know Chad loves hocket just a tiny bit more than he loves me ;)

Aleaha xoxo